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| 标题 | 兔年情人节祝福短信（幽默版） |
| 内容 |
1.别骂自己的孩子是“小兔崽子”，因为从遗传学的角度来讲，这对家长是不利的。 2.恭喜你！你获得本公司头奖20万元。请带上防弹衣面罩到平价收银台凭密码领取奖金。密码是“把钱拿出来”！ 3.爱情与玉米粥相比，哪个好？好像该是爱情好，其实不然：毕竟没有东西比爱情好，而一碗玉米粥总比没有东西好，所以，玉米粥比爱情好！ 4.初恋：心里眼中只有她。热恋：妈妈叫我向东，爱人叫我向西；向西。失恋：爱人结婚了，新郎不是我。 5.护士：你要写给谁阿？病人：写给我自己啊！护士：那你都写些什么阿？病人：你神精病阿！！我还没收到怎么知道？ 6.接卫生部紧急通知：最近因口蹄疫广泛流行，请您务必注意四肢清洁，以免受到感染！ 7.工资全部上交，包括计划外的；剩饭全部承包，包括馊了的；家务活全干，包括岳母家的；思想天天汇报，包括一闪念的。 8.我爱的人名花有主，爱我的人惨不忍睹，不是在放荡中变坏，就是在沉默中变态。——献给情人节！ 9.老鹰追杀兔子，却因为兔子一句话而掉下摔死了。知道兔子说什么吗？它大叫：你没戴胸罩！老鹰一听慌忙捂胸，结果… 10.人生四大理想：1、给长城贴上瓷砖。2、给赤道镶上金边。3、给太平洋安上栏杆。4、给珠穆朗玛峰装上电梯 11.人生四小理想：1、给苍蝇戴上手套。2、给蚊子戴上口罩。3、给老鼠戴上镣铐。4、教育得蟑螂戴上安全套。 12.猪的四大理想：四周栏杆都烂掉，天上纷纷下饲料，世上屠夫都死掉，全国人民信回教。 13.男人的四大理想：天上纷纷掉钞票，天下美男都死掉，美女脑子都坏掉，哭着喊着让我泡。 14.女人的四大理想：男人头壳都坏掉，每天给我送钞票。还要排队任我挑，自己一直不会老！ JOKE 1 Wife talking to her husband (who reads newspaper all day): I wish I were a newspaper so I'll be in your hands all day. Husband: I wish that too, so I could change you daily. JOKE 2 A little boy asked his father: Daddy, how much does it cost to get married? The father replied: I don 't know son. I'm still paying!! JOKE 3 At midnight father saw that his married son leaving home... He asks him: what are you doing? The son replied: Dad I am fed up with my life! My newly marriage is not going well, my wife and my mom keep fighting with each other! I have to pay bills for my in-laws, and I hate this life!!! I want to go far from here, I want to taste every joy of life, and I want to have every fun of life!!! Father said: Wait!!!!!!!! I am coming with you. JOKE 4 A woman goes to England to attend a 2-week company training session. Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip. The wife answered: Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you? The husband laughed and said: An English girl!!! The woman kept quiet and left. Two weeks later he picked her up in the airport and asked: So honey, how was the trip? The wife: Very good, thank you. The husband: And, what happened to my present? The wife: Which present? The husband: What I asked for: the English girl? The wife: Oh, that! Well, I did what I could; now we have to wait a few months to see if it's a girl!!! JOKE 5 A couple goes to an art gallery. They find a picture of a naked woman with only her privates covered with leaves. The wife doesn't like it and moves on, but the husband keeps looking. The wife asks, "What are you waiting for? " The husband replies, "autumn." JOKE 6 A couple drove several miles down a country road with intense silence. Not a word was said to each other. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither wanted to concede his position. As they passed a barnyard of mules(骡子) and pigs, the wife sarcastically asked, "Relatives of yours? " "Yep, " the husband replied, "inlaws ". |
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