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标题 | 3分钟学会一个雅思7分句系列(四十九) |
内容 | 应对 Some people think that secondary school students should study international news as a school subject but others argue that it would be a waste of valuable school time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. 这个题目 学生在开头段落的句写了下面这句话: Some people consider it necessary to make learning global news as a senior high school subject, while their opponents regard it as a waste of school time. 我们来看教师修改后的句子,如下: Learning global news may be a worthwhile subject at secondary school; it may also be a waste of time. ▲ 首先,是句子的简化。抛弃陈词滥调的无聊的some people … their opponent … 而更直接的说出了内容。 ▲ 原句中的consider it necessary to make learning global news as a senior high school subject和 regard it as a waste of school time都是繁琐的方式。改动后,be a worthwhile subject at secondary school和be a waste of time中用了be动词,在措辞上简化,让句子读起来更顺畅。这里特别注意这里用的是情态动词may,这样,“may be”就避免了去主观认定一种情况为事实,而是语气缓和地说了一种可能。 ▲ 分号“;”替代了while,比起用while来联系两个分句,分号使得两个分句形更工整的结构。这里并不是对于错误的纠正,因为while的用法无误。这里只是故意用到特殊的标点符号来追求这个句子的节奏上的风格。 |
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