支招托福作文 | 5月11日学术讨论范文

  Question:

  Your professor is teaching a class on entrepreneurship.Write a post responding to the professor's question.

  In your response,you should do the following.

  -Express and support your opinion.

  -Make a contribution to the discussion in your own words.

  An effective response will contain at least 100 words.

  Dr.Achebe

  In recent corporate strategies,we've observed a trend where companies are offering to pay for their employees'tuition fees or providing additional vacation time in exchange for the employees enrolling in further skills training courses,such as university programs.This approach is seen as a way to enhance the workforce's capabilities and foster a culture of continuous learning.What do you perceive as the most significant advantage or disadvantage of such a policy?

  Andrew

  In my view,the downside of companies paying for employees'further education is that it could lead to increased turnover.If workers gain new skills,they might feel empowered to seek better opportunities elsewhere.I've heard of cases where employees,after getting their degrees,decide to leave for more competitive roles or higher pay,which can be a significant loss for the company that invested in their education.

  Claire

  I see a different angle on this policy of companies funding employee education.When a company invests in an employee's future,it sends a powerful message of value and sincerity.It's like they're saying,'We believe in you and your growth.'For me,that kind of commitment would make me feel more dedicated to the company.

 

  【范文正文】

  I share Claire’s perspective that this policy could yield significant advantages,particularly as it may inspire employees to commit wholeheartedly to their work.Given the escalating tuition fees,which now exceed 6,000 dollars annually,higher education often seems unattainable for the average working-class family.【分词】Yet,if companies were to provide substantial financial assistance,employees would likely experience deep appreciation.【虚拟语气】This gratitude could manifest as a steadfast dedication to their employers,as demonstrated by my sister-in-law’s case.As a designer at a competitive local garment factory,she was chosen to study at the esteemed St.Martins College of Design,courtesy of her employer’s funding.This opportunity greatly enhanced her loyalty and commitment,motivating her to spearhead the launch of a new headscarf line for the factory.【分词】Contrasting with Andrew’s concern that such a policy might increase employee turnover,the enduring commitment shown by employees like my sister-in-law can actually cultivate a more devoted workforce,thus improving the company’s overall performance.【分词】Policies of this nature not only promote individual development but also foster a culture of loyalty within the company.

 

  【写作思路和特色】

  本文主要论述了一个与Claire同学相似的观点:这项政策能够增强员工的忠诚度。文章首先通过因果逻辑阐释了这一观点的合理性,随后通过实例来提供支撑性细节,以增强论证的说服力。在文末,简要地与另一位同学Andrew的观点进行了对比。

 

  【用词用句整理】

  用词:

  1.yield significant advantages:使用“yield”这个词而不是“bring”或“give”更显专业,而“significant advantages”表达了明显的、重要的优势。

  2.escalating tuition fees:用“escalating”来描述学费的上涨,给人一种不断上升、难以控制的感觉,代替了简单的“increasing”。

  3.attainable:用“attainable”描述高等教育的可获得性,比“reachable”或“accessible”更正式和。

  表达精妙的句子:

  1."Given the escalating tuition fees,which now exceed 6,000 dollars annually,higher education often seems unattainable for the average working-class family."这句话结构清晰,先用“Given”引出背景,再通过“which now exceed 6,000 dollars annually”给出具体数据,最后总结出高等教育对普通工薪家庭来说似乎遥不可及,层层递进,逻辑严密。

  2."This gratitude could manifest as a steadfast dedication to their employers,as demonstrated by my sister-in-law’s case."这句话巧妙地使用了“manifest”来表示感激的体现,并用“steadfast dedication”来描述坚定的奉献精神,最后通过具体案例来支持论点,结构紧凑,表达有力。

  3."Contrasting with Andrew’s concern that such a policy might increase employee turnover,the enduring commitment shown by employees like my sister-in-law can actually cultivate a more devoted workforce,thus improving the company’s overall performance."这句话通过“Contrasting with”引出对比观点,使用“enduring commitment”和“devoted workforce”来强调员工的长期忠诚,并通过“thus improving the company’s overall performance”总结出政策的积极影响,句子层次丰富,表达精炼。

  4."Policies of this nature not only promote individual development but also foster a culture of loyalty within the company."这句话使用了“not only...but also...”的结构,强调政策的双重好处,用“promote individual development”和“foster a culture of loyalty”来描述具体的积极效果,语言精炼,结构对称。